In honor of Valentines Day

While I was in Africa, I forgot to mention something… one of my friends Jonathan, realized I was becoming rather close to… Johnny. John Toiletface. I've been giving it a lot of thought lately... I've even gone to the task of making a list weighing the pro's and con's about having Johnny as my boyfriend. I might as well give you the list... if you have any insightful thoughts on what I should do... I will bring them into consideration. But pretty much I'm at the point where its time to move on... he's just... well... not my type (wonder if that has anything to do with our different make up and all). And besides, we can never seem to see eye to eye on things. I mean he's great and all! Don't get me wrong! He's supportive, always, always ready to share in my burdens, it's basically his soul purpose in life! Me and everyone he comes into contact with. He listens without complaint, and without interrupting, lets you put your whole idea out without interrupting you ONCE! Only problem is he never gives you feed back, weather he likes your idea or not, if he cares or not... sheesh! You can't even tell if he's listening, ignoring you or sleeping! Spencer and I were talking about this earlier... seems like he were agreeing with me about my decision. Not too wise to be in a serious relationship someone whose friends collect shrews and capture them until they die without giving them anything to eat or drink. And someone with such... ummm... interesting eating habits. Oh of course on the positive side, he isn't a picky eater! Which is a good thing... well... except for the fact he cannot for some reason or other, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy! Then he gets this awful indigestion, and boy is that a mess to clean up! He's got awful hygiene. Doesn't even know how to brush his teeth or bathe!!! The only way to get him clean is to wash him yourself! And speaking of washing him, he needs his mouth washed out with soap regularly... or else he can get rather.. umm... unpleasant. But he never complains when you do it! Its amazing! I know if I was having my mouth washed out with soap you'd hear a sound or two of complaint from me! Probably also have to wrestle me to the ground... but he just sits there, content as always. (Or is he grumbling? I can never tell, his facial expressions are impossible to read!) I was talking with Matthew and Dad about this, since its such an important decision... *sigh* Matthew pointed out that he never yells at you. I don't know that I should be talking to you about this, but doesn't it seem like he can't function properly without those buddies of his. He just seems... really needy. And since we're talking about him like this, he can be rather cold at times…and he seems to spend an awful lot of time in the bathroom... you don't suppose that he has urine trouble do you??? Not that its particularly important... anyway, moving on... He's great. Really truly he is. He never puts you down, but on the other hand he never encourages you. Although he can take a lot in without it upsetting him... he just takes in tons and tons... but when it reaches overflowing point... oooo, you'd better watch out! Cause its going to be ONE BIG STINKY MESS!!!! He never complains, never insults you, never purposely hurts you, never gets even... he's reliable and dependable! But then again, he never smiles, never laughs at your jokes, forget laughing at your jokes, he never makes jokes himself! And even if he does, they're really rather... ummm... I believe its called "Bathroom humor". *shudders* He never compliments you, never teases you, never jokes around with you... and boy, I don't know how I'd be able to survive dating someone like that long term. No way! Gotta at least have enough sense to laugh!!! And then Johnny somehow manages to be a real people person, although you have to go hunt him down in his little corner of the house. He really doesn't get out much now does he? *sigh* But then again, you do always know where he is. I just can't believe how he can be such a people person and such a... well... he never shares his thoughts, he acts without thinking, he's oblivious to what goes on around him, he even sees other women! He's really smooth and slick, so I can't blame them for flocking over him... but... just imagine what would happen if he became a real hottie!! That would be AWFUL! He's really stuck in his ways, never learns anything new! He can't even give a decent back massage! Its nuts! I can't believe the lack of skill on his part. I showed my mom my list, seeing if she had any insightful wisdom to add. She asked me if I liked a guy with facial hair... I said, "MOM! He doesn't have ANY hair!" She asked if I under stood his inner workings, and I had to confess that I didn't. He does seem rather stressed to me, his face is so white... so unchanging. He's not expressive, he's cold and unfeeling. Mom asked me if I could live without him, and the answer was "Yes!" Everything he has to offer I can find elsewhere, Mom said that with that in mind, its easier to feel like there is no point in being loyal to him. She told me to imagine myself on a date with him. I admitted to her that I'd probably spend the whole time in the bathroom... and that there was no way that I would EVER kiss him. Even just a hug is rather awkward. And what would we talk about? Talk about being awkward! You know how non-talkative I am! And he's 10 times worse! (At the very least!) Sometimes he makes these weird noises... but its hard to figure out what it means. Oh well... I guess its not important now. He really doesn't have that much to his advantage. And another thing, having the same religion is sooo important to me! And he won't answer any of my questions about his beliefs! So I don't think he is quite as spiritually mature as what I would want in a husband... and thus, wouldn't make a good boyfriend. Although I guess one thing he has in his favor he's more than willing to live in Guinea. But even with living in Guinea, the excitement of his life has truly been flushed down the drain! Its so sad. Sometimes I don't know what I ever saw in him... but then I remember and wish to forget! *shudders* I guess what I smelt in him was worse though... I really don't think he's serious about me, he never writes or calls, I haven't even heard one word from him since I got back to the states! Its like he doesn't even care. I can't stand it. As far as I know he has made no effort whatsoever to contact me. Its just not right. Am I being too harsh on him? I guess I can't get enough out of him to really see many good qualities... he just is so quiet. Mom told me to think about what marriage would be like with him... I truly wish he'd be more of a leader. Or maybe even more of a follower... but he's not either! He just sits there in his own little corner, never talking, not being sociable unless people are coming in, and we all know that they're just using him! He lets them and never puts a stop to it. He doesn't seem to know how to say "no" and put his foot down. He just sits there and let the world go on around him. He wouldn't care if he was run over by a truck! Darn, there I go again. Putting him down. I guess I'll go ahead and close this. Thanks for your time and for listening. You truly are a good friend. TO PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE I FOUND ANOTHER OF JOHNNY'S KIND and had my lovey sister take pictures so you could understand more clearly what I am talking about.

Me and Jonney Toiletface (er... replacement so y'all get the drift)

Hmmmmmmmm.... this is a strange relationship

The ladies kind-of flock to him... But its understandable since he's so smooth..

He's kind of stuck in his ways...

We cant see eye to eye... but maybe that has something to do with the fact I can't find his eyes...